Are you finding that your relationship has gone a little cold lately? If so, this is not necessarily a huge red flag to end your entire union, because from time to time, it is totally normal for things to go a little off the boil. Perhaps your relationship is hitting that two year mark, perhaps you are married and things have gone a little ‘samey’. Whatever the circumstances, there are many ways you can add a little spice back into your sex life, and rekindle that burning flame of desire!
Be a Little Adventurous
It’s normal for things to get stuck in a rut if you’re doing the same things all the time, so it’s important to change things up occasionally, and try something new. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but you were too scared to tell your partner out of embarrassment? Go for it! You never know, they might be looking for an opportunity to have the same conversation too! Want to try bondage? Talk about it and start slowly. Want to try a little dirty talk? Have a glass of wine and find some Dutch courage. Basically, we have to get out of our comfort zone occasionally.
Inject a Little ‘Help’
Have you ever thought about using sex toys? There are many cheap adult toys on the market that won’t cost you the earth, and you can experiment a little. Be sure to talk to your partner about it beforehand however; you don’t want to simply whip out a vibrator without warning and freak them out completely!
Communication is Key
It’s important to talk about how you’re feeling, but it’s vital not to place blame. For instance, if you are feeling like your partner isn’t showing you the same level of attention, it’s important to highlight your feelings in the right way. Never try and have this conversation inside the bedroom, and always be careful with the words you use, to avoid blame or accusatory tones.
Accept the Ebbs And Flows
Remember that your situation is normal, and that it doesn’t mean your relationship is dying a slow death. Work stress, family problems, illness, general lifestyle problems, these all play a part in our libido, and when you’re feeling tired or your mind is elsewhere, you are unlikely to want to initiate sex. If this is a simply a short-term problem, try and roll with it and be supportive to your pattern, but if it goes on for a longer period of time, it’s definitely a good idea to have that conversation we were talking about.